Dear Santa Claus,
While out running errands this evening, I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be making preparations for Christmas rather *ahem* early this year. Now, I don't mean to be critical, and I certainly wouldn't want to tell you how to do your job, but, frankly, I'm a bit concerned. It's not that I don't appreciate your eager festive spirit; nothing could be further from the truth! It's just that, well, I think you may be jumping the gun a bit this year. I really love the Christmas season, but I also really enjoy some of the other major fourth-quarter holidays(I won't mention any names--I know how much you hate that) and would hate to miss them. Personally, I think it would be a real big shame if we started going straight from Columbus Day to Christmas each year. That just wouldn't feel right to me, and I hope you don't mind me saying so.
Here's an idea: Maybe you could stick to holding sway over our lives from Black Friday through the end of December and let those other fun--but admittedly inferior--holidays keep their usual time slots? Whatever you decide to do, I want you to know that I think you're doing a "heckuva a job," and I'll respect your expert judgement on the matter. I just wanted to let you know how I felt.
Still love ya, big guy!